These days I feel like there are relationships left and right. Someone has released love into the air and people are shacking up or becoming official. To me though, there is a difference between a relationship and an agreement. A relationship is where you are open with and trust someone with all of your deepest secrets. An instance where you just enjoy spending your time with a specific person and see no other way to spend it. An agreement is where two people just become official without any prior knowledge of the other person and how they act or how they will re act to certain things. Granted, you never really fully know a person but I think that having to check in with your significant other every two minutes because they are to insecure in you relationship is ridiculous. When you have to change your personality around that person to try and impress them, there is something seriously wrong with your head. Grow a pair of balls. Be strong. Stand up for yourself! Don't mold to fit in to somebody else's life if you're just going to lose yourself in the process. If you are independent and comfortable with yourself as a person then why would you even want to be with a person that puts you down and makes you feel stupid. That person that you choose to be with should make you feel good about yourself. Not only that but they should accent the best parts of you and make you rethink your worst. That other person should make you want to be a better person, not for them but for yourself. So I say, the moment you feel the need to prove yourself to someone is the moment you need to walk away from them. Don't lose yourself in the process of trying to find someone else.

                                                        The Hell we call High School
    When you're growing up you feel like the world is on your shoulders, like every decision you make is the most monumental decision of your life. Choosing who to date and who to be friends with and what things to be involved in define who you are as an early adolescent. But of course we 'adolescents' don't think of ourselves as impressionable teenagers. We see getting one year older as a free ticket to be as irresponsible and as stupid as possible. We see freedom as our only gateway to a good time. We see graduation as the great release into the beginning of life as we know it. But what we don't know is that who we choose to be now, in this year, in this very moment of life is the the very beginning to what we believe to be the beginning of life.
        High school is our beginning. The drama filled, insane world we travel to 5 days a week for 7 hours at a time, if not more, to be locked in small rooms with people who are going through the exact same hormonal imbalances as we are. Emotions are off the charts and thoughts and actions are impaired by high testosterone and estrogen levels. Girls hate each other out of spite and jealousy while boys constantly battle to feel strong smart and important. But what the parents and coaches and teachers see as 'just high school' is actually the tenth circle of hell that tests restraint, from punching that bitch who sits next to you in calculus, patience for the overly dramatic friend who always seems to have a new crisis to behold, and smart decision making on whether or not to take that shot of vodka that burnout offered you in the bathroom this morning. Yes, the tenth circle of hell comfortabley nestled between the woods and the main highway running through your sleepy little town. Parents beware, your children aren't who they think they are and they might not turn out how you've always dreamed of. Because the truth is that we have no idea what the hell we are doing. We go by the schedule you have created for us. We go by a set of rules enforced at an early age. We go by silent rules that are expected of us also, and that is worth more than $20 a week and a 9:30 curfew.
~Bea~
       

For My Friends

 To My Friends

 

My friends are my life, my source of amusement, my happiness, my rock..and my weakness.

You make me stronger and show me what family in a friendship is all about. I spend more time with you then I do my own family. But the thing is..every hour at school, all of the lat nights/early mornings, every break-up/make-up, and every fight and apology is with you, for you, and about you.

Sometimes friendships are underestimated or abused and losing that friendship is like losing a bit of your soul. It's like watching a piece of yourself float off into the distance with no way of returning. And building a friendship is a gradual process that sneaks up on you and sometimes you don't even realize it has happened.

But at times it's hard to know who your real friends are and who aren't. How I can tell is when I don't care what I look like when I'm around them. Or when I don't care how I act or how they perceive me. I know they are my friends when they have an 'open door' policy when I'm at their house. Or they agree with me even when they totally disagree, tell me I'm right when I'm obviously wrong. They stick with me during my 'moments' and tell me everything will be OK because they've got my back. I love my second family. I love everything about them. Everything from our stupid inside jokes..to the unnecessary, magnified fights, to the trash talk and venting hours, and to just being there for each other.....you are my everything. Now and forever. <3

 ~Bea~

Friendship fall..friendships fail..some last for years, and others last for weeks. Sometimes you can never tell who is real or fake. Who is trustworthy or an honest liar. Sometimes it's the risk you take in making a new friend. When you meet someone for the first time you aren't immediately BEST FRIENDS. In some cases that does happen but usually its a slow process with its ups and downs. Fights, disagreements, backstabbing, and gossip tend to rip friends apart. It's worse with girls because they're vicious and horrible toward each other. That's why most of my really close friends are guys..accept for that select few group of girls who i trust my life with :) The honestly good people whom I love like sisters. The group gets bigger and smaller as time goes on. Finding the good and bad in people is all part of the job..but do you ever have that friend who has always been there? Those friends who you don't talk to 24/7 or even once a week sometimes. But when you need to talk or get advice they are always there. That friend that you didn't really hang out with over the summer but you've known them since second grade.. Even after three months has passed without a word I can sit down and talk like no time has passed..I can trust them with secrets that nobody knows. Because it's that rock solid foundation between two people. THAT'S how you decipher the friends for life! Finding those friends is incredibly amazing..and if you never experience that..you're missing out.

~Bea~

                                                              TRUST

 

The definition of trust is---reliance: confidence in and reliance on good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor, or ability.

 

T- time

R- respect

U- understanding

S- safety

T- trust

 

1. Trust takes TIME the build. You will not trust somebody over night. Over TIME you build a bond and a mutual respect for each other. You confide in this person with things you normally wouldn't trust with other people.

 

2. When you grow to trust some one it comes with RESPECT for that person. You RESPECT them enough to tell them things and you connect on a level that not every body connects on.

 

3. When you get to know some one, you form and UNDERSTANDING of the  kind of person they are. Whether they're strong emotionally or reliant on people for support. As a trustworthy friend you become their go to for talks or support.

 

4. After awhile you/ they become your/their safe house. The shelter in the storm. They seek a form of safety from you. Feeling safe with you/them is a number 1 when it comes to trust.

 

5. Trust is like a sense of humor, you either have it, or you don't. Having someone trust you is a reward, a very fragile gift that you should cherish and honor. Because there is no receipt for that gift. And once you break that form of trust, respect, understanding, and safety towards one another..there is a possibility you won't ever get it back.

 

Trust is a five letter word...that means so much. Trust makes and breaks relationships.

 

 Trust is love. Trust is life. Trust is honor...and that is something worth striving for.

 

**Bea**

THAT GUY

Girls go from icky to pretty, pretty to cute, cute to hot, hot to sexy, sexy to bang able, bang able to easy, easy to clingy, and from clingy to gone.

Count your lucky stars guys because when you are a douche bag, you only have so many chances before girls stop going after you. I mean, sure for awhile its fun. Its fun to get a couple different girls in the span of two months. Or if you're really good, a few weeks. Now all of the sudden you are getting nasty looks because you screwed over somebodies best friend, somebodies sister, somebodies daughter. Now you are crowned ass hole of the year because you used and abused a couple of  relationships with girls who were so out of your league.

But the funny thing is...you get rewarded! Everybody knows you are a douche. Yet you get girls who think they will change you. Girls who believe that they have everything to mold you into Mr. Respectable. Some one that they can bring home to mom and dad. But guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK! Surprise, surprise. So you've left, yet another, heartbroken girl in your wake.

So here's the moral. Don't be THAT GUY. The guy that will break a girls heart and not bat an eye lash. The guy that's crowned a player. Because when you finally decide you want a serious relationship, or you find the right girl that you actually want to keep. You are screwed!! You now have to work 50 times harder in convinving this girl that you aren't going to hit it and quit it! And I promise you, she still won't trust you. You're now in for the long haul with this girl you think you're in love with. All because you thought you were hot stuff. But then again, if you were THAT GUY, you deserve it. It's karma. :)

Everybody grows up. Everybody becomes different. Everybody changes..sometimes for the worst.

But what are you supposed to do?

When they're your friend you stick by them right? You see them through because, after all, they are supposed to be your best friend. But somewhere down the road your best friend loses themselves. So then, being the great friend you are, do you rope them in? Bring them back? Tell them how extremely different they've become? And then you question..is our friendship still strong enough to withstand this change..this total wipeout of someone you thought you knew?

Then again..you stuck with them for awhile. Made many excuses. But in the end they lost themselves, they chose to be different. Is it all that bad that your friend let themselves go? Your answer? Well i don't have that but..my thought is that in the end it's no longer your decision to rescue the person you once knew, just hope that when they finally pull their head out of their fake friends ass, they'll realize that you were it all along. You were there when no one else was. And if it's a legit friendship, you will always find eachother.

**Bea**